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December 28 2010. I quit smoking. How much it hurt.

This will be my top post for some time as this is the single most important piece of knowledge that I have to share.

Tuesday December 28, 2010. Copped an attitude yesterday and smoked up the last of my "tide me over" cigarettes.  Decided not to buy any more and slapped on a 21 MG patch.. So I don't get my one tomorrow morning and no cheating for a few more during the day. This is hereby declared " Larry's Quit Day" So let it be written so let it be done. This day shall end soon. Sangria and Triple Sec wash down Princess Valium and soon I wilt be dreaming of Tinkerbell and waiting for her fairy dust to raise me up from the depths of degradation.. ( and whatever she wants to do with that dust is open for discussion)

I will detail my trials in the days to come. Suffice to say it was pure hell.



My Journey actually began in the summer of 2008. I would guess that June was my first determined attempt to quit.

I had been hit with Auriculotherapy, or auricular therapy, or ear acupuncture about 5 years previous to this attempt. I quit long enough to pay for the service and went right back to smoking. This therapy created one of the worst nights of my life, to this point, cold sweats, no sleep etc. etc.

So now I was just going to quit cold turkey. I was doing okay.....until.......I went to the doctors office. He wanted to control my blood pressure and so I received a diuretic and the dreaded Toporol. About 10 days into the Toporol my first every panic attacks occurred.  I awoke feeling like my heart and lungs had just stopped. I could not lay back down or dizziness and sickness would set in. After two nights of this and a visit to my doctor I took myself off of this medicine. The panic attacks subsided for awhile. They would remain with me for years to come. I haven't had one now since June of 2011 but I feel sure that they will return some day.
      


Dec. 28th 2010 my real quit.
The first week was extremely full of constant urges to smoke. This terrible drug leaves it footprints embedded onto every fiber of our bodies. When we take away this drug the body screams to get its normal dose back. It is sick that I used the word " normal" to describe a smoking habit because nothing is normal about burning up ones insides.

Sleep was not an event. Walking the floor at 2 am and begging for relief was my new normal. I rapidly turned into a zombie. I turned to sleeping pills for relief and they helped to some degree.

Some of the worst parts of healing :
         The cough from hell. I was doing great and then a sales clerk sneezed in my face and I caught the flu at the end of month one. I developed this very special cough unlike any other every in my lifetime. It was based right under my breast bone but it produced ugly brown mucus that seemed to come out of my throat. This continues to this day. It is only when I brush my teeth now early in the morning. Although it did pop back up during a recent head cold. I never did find a solution for this problem.
         Not going=Constipation. There may be worse things to have but I am not sure what they may be. To be full of s*** is beyond description but I will try. Stomach pains, inability to bend over, inability to sleep, gas, bloating, cramps all come to mind. Solution. Took a while but here is the mix that cured it for me. Cranberry ( From Walgreens in a box) Prunes, Yogurt and the main secret weapon is Kefir.
.   Zits Unbelievable things leave the body. These started on my nose. They usually had a twin on each side. They were nasty ugly weepy things that came and went in a hurry. They usually popped up overnight and would be gone in a week or less. After my nose slowed down they crept out to my cheeks. Then by my ears.. in front and in back. They then started on my neck and worked their way to my upper back. I have a few, very few left on the back sides of my arms now. Very small and out of my reach to finish them off. I also had drainage on the back side of my scalp. Very weepy and they took weeks to finish up.
  Stomach Pain from Hell This was some of the worst part of my quit. Many a day I had to stop the car and get out and walk around. I ate tums like candy. It was just below my breast bone and would double me over on some days. Many a night I curled up in a fetal position and just wanted to die from this pain. I finally figured this out.

I controlled my stomach pains by consuming daily:
1. Kefir
2. Yogurt
3. Prunes(Dried)
4. Cranberries (Dried)

Magic month six

This is the month that my body finally kicked the flu leftovers. When this happened the dreaded congestion spot in my chest disappeared. All smokers know this spot. It is right under the center of the breast bone. It is the spot that makes us wheeze and gasp for breath. It is the spot that hurts when we over exert ourselves because we have destroyed our ability to breath properly. Along with this wonderful things occurred. It had created a lot of anxiety which lessened. I discovered this amazing trick of being able to sleep and breath at the same time without a CPAP or breath strips.The night time huffing and puffing left. I had spent many a night laying in bed gasping for air. I would actually lay on my side and deep breath hoping for sleep to offer a break. ....it was either that or sit up like a zombie on my computer.The edema dropped to a minimum. I was still very tired from the entire process, and I am somewhat better today, but I am still unable to go more than a few hours without being exhausted.   
       



These are my notes taken from Quitnet.com and will supply some details of my full time quit/start/quit/start etc etc for a year and a half.
 ...............................................................................................................................................................
 The Mind set is and has to be... no more ever....not one ..not a pack...not a puff....to do so would be utter and complete failure to myself and everything that `I need` .


Smoked from 1971 to date. Wife still smokes. Had several major quits. Longest was over 6 months.

My first real attempt at quitting was to receive the ear treatment, summer of 05 I believe, That was the worst night of my life up to that point. Cold sweats, pains you name it and I suffered through it. Quit for 2 weeks which was long enough to pay for the treatment.

Showed up here ( Quitnet) in June of 2008. Cut back and then cold turkey on July 17th. Lost that quit due to stomach pain on August 11th. I smoked two cigarettes and the pain stopped. Happened again on Aug 14th and two cigarettes stop the pain. I go to my local doctor and get beta blockers, water pills and blood pressure medicine. These create my very first panic attacks. After taking them for about one week I awaken every night after three hours of sleep feeling like my heart and lungs have stopped. I can`t lay back down due to dizziness. I quit the beta blockers ( Toporol) and this goes away. ( truth is it has never went away..it now cycles)

The circle continues until Dec 28th 2008 when I go cold turkey full blast again and live with the pain. It is mostly under my breast bone and right rib cage. It is intense pain and very tender when I touch the area. I made it clean this time. The healing was pure hell. Constant breath attacks and stomach pain, very little sleep. Ankle swelling begins in late January This is something that I have never had before.

April 28th 2009 I get a groin ligament pain and head off to the gym anyway to walk it off. Four hours later I can`t stand the pain as it grows worse by the minute. Intermediate care sends me to emergency and I am admitted at 220/140. They practice on me for five days. I sign multiple release forms allowing wonder drugs to be induced into my body. I exit a mess, dry skin, weak as hell, nerves shot but still quit. Diagnosed with congestive heart failure, 25% ejection refraction left side. No blockage, no stints, no surgery other than being scoped. Seven scripts go home with me. Quit three rather quickly and start to heal.  Resume smoking in late July since I am not better than when I left the hospital who cares. Smoking relaxes me and my emotional state improves.I cough like hell but I don't care at this point since my real life has ended. I sit in a chair and shake as the days and the world pass by me.

December 28th 2010. Been prepping since early November. Cutting back hard and using NRT`s. Go smokeless on this date. ( my final smoke is consumed at 8 AM on this day)


A>) Things I have learned. Some people are just A holes they can`t be helped.

B>) Punching a stupid person in the nose makes their nose bleed the same as a normal person.

I controlled my stomach pains by consuming daily:
1. Kefir
2. Yogurt
3. Prunes(Dried)
4. Cranberries (Dried)
and other fresh fruit as available which includes oranges, bananas, apples etc.
( every time I asked for help I was told to see a doctor because this isn`t normal...pfffttttttttttt...phhhhaaaattt..right in your kisser)

NRT Patch.
This is a piece of non permeable plastic that is coated with a nicotine and solvent mix. The solvent evaporates and leaves the nicotine. It then receives a layer of permeable adhesive. Most patches are die cut form a large sheet and you will see the coatings reach the edges of the patch. Some patches have another plastic backer layer behind the stamped piece. As with all processes there is a plus/minus tolerance to every step. Loads can vary depending on several variations. Our smoking load varied every day also.

Based on this I am not afraid to cut one nor to store it and use it a second time. I have not seen any published evidence that supports spikes due to cutting or failure of the patch to work a second time.

Redness, pain and sweating occur under my patch. No rash should occur other places due to a patch. If they do then you are allergic to the patch.

..........

Withdrawal pain is real folks. Not in the head. When smoking relieves that pain it is real. Not in the head. Smoking can stop a healing process that hurts. So shut up with the  ` junkie thinking` phrase about this because you are delusional and detached if you don`t believe it. Push

CrAzY LaRrY


I have to quit. There isn`t a choice. It is a done deal. Sealed in my slow death if I fail. 6-3-10 no nicotine





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